Here are the interview questions and answers!

I was honored to hear that Katie and I be featured in Hope magazine at the Karmanos hospital in Detroit. This is the email that I sent to the editor:

Here is the best I can do right now (I'll let you take care of the grammar and punctuation) : : )

Are you currently living in Big Rapids?
Yes. In a small two bedroom rental overlooking where the wedding was.Beautiful location as you can see from the pictures.

Current age? 23

What year of college are you in at Ferris State (freshman, sophomore, junior, senior) and what is your major? Senior status - Secondary Education History Major Spanish Minor

What are your plans upon graduating college?

Having as much fun as possible and spending time with friends and family. I love to travel, race sailboats on with my crew (I am on a crew) in Traverse City, cook healthy tasty foods, eat them, campaign for Barack Obama, camp, hike, fish, be in nature. My goal is to walk to class or ride bike every day this year with really warm waterproof windproof clothes. Future plans: Teach History, motivational speaking, and writing books. I take everything one day, moment at a time.

When you first learned you have cancer in Jan. 2006, how was it discovered – through a routine checkup? Where was it diagnosed? How old were you at that time?

I was 21. I was in Florida and jumped off a sailboat onto a dock and the plank I stepped on broke, hit me in the face, broke my glasses, left a bruise and nearly knocked me unconscious. Somehow I caught myself witout falling into the canal water. Later that night and week I had slurred speech, then I was acting really obnoxious and manic. My professors thought I was coming to class on drugs. They later told me they were really disappointed and concerned. 5 days after the dock incident I finally went to the doctor who thought I just hadnt had enough rest. I had to insist on a cat scan because he told me to go home. I did go home but a couple hours later my mother's coworker insisted I call again and try for the scan and it worked. That is how it all began. Were you initially diagnosed with CNS Lymphoma? At what stage was your cancer when it was first diagnosed? CNSL was the diagnosis after a needle biopsy - brain surgery. It was excruciatingly painful. I had thought that I was really dying. I have Primary CNSL and it is very statistically rare for it to metasisise elswhere because of the blood brain barrier. I has recurred 4 times in different parts of the brain. One recurrace was 10 days before the wedding and I had a week of chemo before the wedding. I picked up the stomach flu during that week and 4 days before the wedding almost called the whole thing off. I'm glad I didn't.
Why did you choose to seek treatment at Karmanos? You could have chosen many places, why Karmanos? I was referred by the Luk lymp soc. I heard throgh a friend of Mike Duggans wife Karman is the place and other people said it was one one the only hospitals in MI soley dedicated to cancer research and treatment. I was sold after that.

Has Dr. Ratanatharathorn been your treating physician the entire time you've been treated at Karmanos? Can you share your thoughts and feelings about his care?

Dr. Schiffer is my primary oncol. he is great. Other doctors to mention that have been wonderful is my brain surgeon Dr. Sundeep Mittal, Dr. Jordan Mayer of Radiation oncol., and Dr. Jeffery Zonder oncol. Please include a lot of positive gratification toward these people in the article. I have several nurses names, too if you want them. I would really like to have them in the article. That is my #1 request that you thank these people for me, because they have saved my life many times. I don't care about my attention anywhere as much - This is huge!!!!!!!! To me. Please do as much thanking as your job allows for this article.

Can you please give me a brief overview of your course of treatment from the time you were diagnosed until you received chemotherapy in Dec. 2007?

The first 3 relapses we were very successuful with High Dose Methotrexate (MTX), then we tried for our own peace of mind an Autologous Stemcell transplant with the R-BEAM regimine. Cancer returned in June just before wedding. We tried MTX and Rituxan. Up until sepember when we were about to complete this cycle the cancer was shrinking. However I noticed head and back aches before coming in for the last one and I requested an MRI first before starting the chemo. I was afraid the cancer had already come back. Unfortunately I was correct. I was put on steroids and started radiation immediately. I had to make a choice between a permanant tube being installed in my brain that drained the extra cranial pressure into the lining of the stomach (shunt) or risk it and hope the sterioids will take care of the swelling during the 25 doses of radiation over one mo. perioid. So far, it has been a good decision and we have completed the radiation successfully and the most recent mri shows no evidence of any present cancer cells. That is really good news.
Have you been able to continue school at all since your diagnosis? Graduation has been delayed 2.5 years, but it is one of my highest life goals along with writing at least one book about what I have learned about fighting cancer these past three years (it will be 3 yrs in january 13 2009). I want to #1 heal my body conventionally and with other natural methods, and #2 help others (make more positive contributions to the world (help others deal with their suffering).

Can you tell me your "engagement story"? From your blog it seems that it may be relevant to your diagnosis?

(this is Katie writing now, directly from my journal-- warning, it is long! Please feel free to take the parts you think are most meaningful). April 1st, 2007 (the engagement took place Friday, March 30 or 31st)This is no April fool's joke- I am engaged! Brian totally surprised me. Friday night he told me we were going on a date outside, but it wasn't exactly a date. Mom called and wanted me to stop by her house to pick up a bag that Brian brough her. I grabbed the bag and hopped in my car and began reading the little booklet, "Katie's guidebook to a night of sweet romance and anticipation" So adorable! I read the next page and it said, "what does Brian have up his sleeve?" At that point I was pretty sure he was going to propose, but not completely sure. It was after I put in the CD that he had made (in the bag) that I realized he was going to ask me to marry him. It was excxiting and emotional, Brian was blowing my socks off, and I didn't even know what was to come! So I stop by my apartment to get my black jacket, wine, and candles (according to his instructions). The next page in teh guideook led me to his mom's house to enjoy decorating his house with the rose petals, flowers (from teh bag) and candles. His next surprise was an orange notebook full of letters, poems, and sentimental notes we had written eachother over the last 2 years. reading those notes, I was rouched by the friendship we had from the start, and the different seasons of our relationship. It was a sentimental experience (I love those as Brian knows). I finally finish the notebook and the next clue led me to the place with two rocks and a tree. I walked to the woods and took the two track that we often run and bike in the summer. The rocks looked to be glowing--there was a large candle with a note that siad, blow out the candles as you go, our love will be a light in the darkness". It was so beautiful when I walked up to it, it was almost mystical in appearance. I started on the two track and dreamt about being proposed to. It was a perfect temp. outside with a light breeze. Just ahead was the first candle. I thought Brian was holding it, but as I got closer, I realized he had put it on a sand hill. I blew it out, picked it up, and cont. on. There were probably 5 more candles and they were spread out enough so that I could have fun anticipating between each one. It also helped me to know I was on the right track. When I finally reached the river bank, there were 3 cancles leading me towards a large rock. I could see a trail of lights ahead of me leading to the river. I saw a red candle (Brian) moving around about 30 sec. prior. on the rock was a cnadle and another note/poem. It read, "say outloud-who is this man who loves me so?" So after a moment of regaining composure (I was laughing and crying) I said it outloud. Brian then lit the fire, an dthe flames went up with a loud whoosh! I walked the candle-lit path down to Brian, then stepped to the side because the fire smoke was blowing thickly over the blacket. Brian then took my hand and sat me down next to him. He asked how I was doing, and I was full of squeals and "wow, Brian's". I was anxious for him to ask me th equestion, but his plan was to enjoy the moment. he was talkin gabout the process and some reflective thoughts, and I finally said, "I'm ready!". So he said, "Katie Marie, will you marry me?" and I said, "yes!" and we hugged and I cried-- then he took the ring from a beaver chewed stump and put it on my finger. Wow! It looked so pretty! It was the perfect ring. I knew it even though I couldn't see it in the light. Brian took one of his candles so we could look at it closer. We walked bak and I called some family and friends. Brian cooked Lake Trout for dinner. Even though I didn't want the night to end. I'm sure Brian slept well knowing his efforts were recieved well.


Can you tell me about your "honeymoon" at Karmanos and what that experience was like? I read in your blog that Katie won a three-day all-inclusive honeymoon package to Hawaii, but am not sure if you were able to go?

We spent two weeks in hawaii camping, cooking our own food except for one Luau and a couple romantic dinners, 3 Islands, renting a car, snorkeling with dolphins in the wild that we found ourselves for 45 min, swimming with 1500lb manta rays at night with bright lights on a tour boat for an hour, hiking the Na Pali Coastline. Amazing. Someone gave us travel vouchers they couldn't use, but we did (that means air tickets were free)! We haven't used our all inclusive package yet. We are thinking DR when the health is thriving again.

Can you tell me about your current condition and how it is being treated? Are you being treated currently at Karmanos?

Just finished radiation. Karmanos is still the place to be for conventional treatment in the region in my opinion. It has been worth the 4.5 hour each way trip. You can do it in 3.5 if you push it. I recommend it to everyone.

What particular strategies have you employed to maintain such a positive attitude during your treatment?

What I have learned:Adversity does not define who you are. How you react to adversity does.Positive thinking. Setting healthy Boundaries from stress (intra and interpersonal boundaries is crucial for stress). Training the mind to reduce negativity and stress no matter what you are going through.Forgive people freely. I claim to be just a baby a learing how to do this. Only 3 years of practice. People really don't know what you are going through no matter what they say. They can relate in some ways but each cancer journey is different.Fight one battle at a time. Keep the big picture in mind.but you can plan and totally prepare yourself the entire realm of possibilites and circumstances you find yourself in. It is okay to think about it but I don't spend too much time worrying about what could happen. That will drive you nuts! Believe me! It happend to me many times!You do the best you can with what you got. I have given myself freedom to die if the suffering becomes too much. (That might not be publishable, I understand)

Dealing with extreme suffering: I have had lots of practice with this.

When suffering is the highest I check the clock in 30 min intervals to determine If the pain and suffering are worse or better. I have had no more than a 3 day period when the pain and suffering has only increased. Don't stare at the clock that makes time go slower. Time is like a mule if you push too much it won't move very fast. I allow myself to cry and grieve. Lots (3.5 years starting bfore cancer) of counseling -crucial with an amazing counselor in my hometown Leah Simontal, MSW - please put her name in article. In our marriage Katie and I practice mutuality which means that we try to serve each other's needs equally as we can. During the (3 years) cancer battle Katie, has been my best friend, girlfriend, fiancee, and now wife when needed to willingly puts aside her own needs and puts my needs first. We dated for 4 years - 3 of them were cancer battle years. She has carried me through this. Her sacrafices and dedication and nurturing love revives me to life when one health crisis hits after another. She gives me so much strength and love to live.

Can you please share your thoughts and feelings about the care and treatment you've received at Karmanos from all the doctors, nurses and other staff you've encountered?

Other nurses that need to be in article, NP Kim O'reilley, NP Debbie Ward, the entire floor of 8 Webber North, especially my primary Nurse Agnes Kiluk, Karen, Michelle, Annette, Danny, Agatha Bomarrito, MSW. Sorry for the lack of last names.

Can you tell me a bit about your support system during this time, in particular the support your wife, Katie provides and what it means to you? above

My mom and dad have been here for me to do anything. So many friends and family have stepped up to the plate at desperate times I've lost count. The community of Big Rapids, the hockey community, the education community - right up to the superintendents and principals, our landlord Kathy, strangers and acquaintances sending random money and cards. I feel like I have armies of people praying for me. The greatest part about my cancer battle has been the love I have felt from other people. That carries me through this, too.

Your aunt, Janet DiFelice, said she is also currently being treated at Karmanos. Can you share your feelings about going through cancer with her?

Aunt Janet is one of the most caring compassionate people I know. She is not only battling ovarian cancer, but she has a daughter with special needs who requires a lot of attention. She is an enormous inspiration to me, she has taught me a lot about grace and forgiveness, and I cherish her. Before she was diagnosed with cancer she did a cancer walk in honor of me. I can say so much more. It is hard to draw the line.

What's the most important thing you'd like readers to know from your story?

1. thanking people 2.my answer to the pos attitude question. Have fun with the rest of the stories. This has been therapeutic for me to write and it will help people who check my blog. I'm excited to see what you put together!

Is there anything else you'd like to add? Anything I've forgotten to ask?

Great questions - I'll keep thinking, too.

May I e-mail you if I have further questions?

of course, call my cell phone anytime Great questions! This has been a lot of fun! I can wait to see your first draft. If we have the energy we will be posting more pictures from our blog that you can use. I'll send you a copy of our wedding slidshow too. We will keep refining this and eventually post a version to my blog. I think there is a lot of new information for people who regularly check the blog. We will try not to send info more than once. I want your feedback, too on my questions regarding thanking people. All I want are some names in there.


On Fri, Oct 10, 2008 at 6:46 PM, Brian Tomczyk <emailbri@gmail.com> wrote:
Jeff,Thank you for such a prompt reply. I do need a deadline because I am currently dealing with a health crisis. Thank you very much, and I look forward to meeting you one day! Brian Tomczyk


On Wed, Oct 8, 2008 at 5:01 PM, Jeff Samoray <jeff.samoray@grigg.com> wrote:
Hi, Brian: I'm a freelance writer working with the marketing team at the Karmanos Cancer Center on articles for HOPE Magazine. Your aunt, Janet, told us a little about your story and encouraged us to write about you. Thanks for referring me to your blog when we spoke by phone yesterday. I've read through the whole blog and have attached my interview questions in a Word file, with space below the questions for your answers. I know that you're currently undergoing treatment, so please respond when you feel you're able to do so. I've tried to ask questions that will help elaborate on some of your blog postings without asking for too much repetitive information. If you prefer to speak with me by phone instead, I would be more than happy to do that. Thanks in advance, and best of luck with your treatment!